Katie’s Divorce
This episode is a deep one. We take a candid look at Katie’s marriage, how it began, how it changed, and ultimately, why she made the difficult decision to end it.
In the first half, we walk through the early years: dating, the marriage ultimatum, the cold feet, and a rocky first year that included babies, big transitions, and a lot of emotional weight. We talk openly about communication struggles, debt, business failure, pregnancy loss, alcohol dependency, and the series of challenges that eventually led to the breakdown of the relationship.
From there, we move into the separation and divorce, and the lessons Katie learned along the way. Divorce is hard, expensive, and, more than ever, common, with nearly half of marriages ending this way. If you’re navigating a divorce yourself, here are some key things to keep in mind.
Legal & Strategic Considerations
Identify your divorce type:
Contested (disagreements exist- probably will need a lawyer)
Uncontested (Most major issues are agreed upon; there are ways to do this yourself without the added costs of a lawyer. A quick Google search can point you in the right direction)
Mediated or Collaborative (peaceful negotiation process. You can do this via a mediator and/or a lawyer)
Consult with a divorce attorney (even if it’s just for advice- they typically offer a free consult)
Document all communications (emails, texts, shared accounts, keep a journal of contentious interactions, pictures of any evidence to support your claims, etc.)
Keep copies of financial records, tax returns, and legal paperwork and/or start gathering them. It’s almost like buying a house. You have to have them all together.
Don’t sign anything without fully understanding it. This is where it does help to have a lawyer or someone close to you that understands it well.
Ask your attorney to review all documents before you sign
Financial Clarity
Inventory all assets and debts. Having this ready to go makes the process easier when it comes to asset division:
Bank accounts
Credit cards
Loans and mortgages
Retirement accounts and pensions
Investments
Real estate
Insurance policies
Personal valuables
Look for signs of hidden assets or debts. If you suspect there are any, a forensic accountant can be hired to help confirm.
Consider long-term impact of settlement:
Taxes
Retirement plans
Housing situation
Cash flow for 5–10 years
Close joint bank/credit accounts
Open new accounts in your name only
Update:
Will
Beneficiaries
Powers of attorney
Mindset & Emotional Health
Avoid letting emotions drive legal or financial decisions. This is incredibly hard, but will help things move more smoothly.
Seek therapy or emotional support
Establish and enforce boundaries (especially with co-parenting)
Keep communication respectful and child-focused
Avoid using children as messengers or emotional support
Practical Life Adjustments
Rebuild your budget for a one-income household
Adjust for new expenses (utilities, insurance, child care, etc.)
Evaluate whether keeping the house is realistic long-term
Be mindful of shifting friendships—lean on those who support you
Take your time before entering a new relationship
Protecting Your Future
Begin rebuilding credit in your own name
Set new financial goals
Create a post-divorce savings and retirement plan
Take steady, proactive steps—even if they’re small
Give yourself grace and celebrate progress
Want this as a downloadable checklist?
Another thing we spoke about was finding good therapists for kids and how difficult it proved to be. After reaching out to her children’s pediatrician, Katie found out that Psychology Today has a database and allows you to filter results to find a list of therapists that work the best for what you are looking for.
At the end of the day, try not to doubt yourself and this decision if the result means you will be a healthier, happier human. That matters most, especially when children are involved. And keep reminding yourself that, at some point, it will be over and done, and life will go on.